Originally Posted by
jkb 
They dont understand. Sure a drink will have consenquences because you cant just have one... BUT, who cares. For a few hours you will not be "in your head". You will not be worried, scared or, so overwhelmingly sad."
Hi Jess,
So sorry for your sad news about your mom. I wish it wasn't so painful. Life is so beautiful and wonderful. How awesome you have a loving and sharing relationship with your mom. I hope for all that is good for you and your mom, Jess.
I too drank to be elsewhere in my head and my feelings. Of course it worked until it didn't, and even with drinking again and again, eventually there is no place to hide from ourselves drunk or sober.
I know sadness too, Jess. Life for me has its challenges both past and present too. Being sober for years doesn't protect me from sadness, and it doesn't have too either. Although I did abuse alcohol to be elsewhere, I'm not sober to be elsewhere. I'm sober and present. Real time = real life.
I have experienced sadness morph into happiness. Emotional bondage morph into freedom. Anxiety into purposeful surety. Fear into strength and steadfastness.
I can appreciate how others too meet the challenges of their lives with success and happiness. Even in the face of tragedy and chaos.
Jess, please don't reproach yourself for having Addictive Voice. None of us are perfect. We all have ongoing struggles with ourselves over whatever in our respective lives. We're human, and meeting challenges is what we do best when we simply turn ourselves to meet the challenge face on, as we are today, and not as what we hope one day to be.
You have everything already within you to not drink, and certainly to successfully manage thru all kinds of sadness, fears, angers, disappointments, and so on.
I'm sure, if you take a moment, you can quickly re-discover how you are already being successful with your new lifestyle of sober living. Don't be concerned about challenges to your newly embraced lifestyle choices. Simply and diligently work yourself thru whatever, knowing that all any of us can do is the same as anyone else choosing to be successful:
We deal with life as best we're able, and we simply keep moving thru it, and eventual happiness is absolutely a sure thing which is created as we deal with our sad pains and stubborn worries.
You're a good person, Jess. Take some moments from your present sadness and realise being a good person allows for your ability to deal with all this, and more. Just being yourself is enough, Jess.