SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information - View Single Post - A New Day (Munchkin's Thread) Part 3
View Single Post
Old 05-20-2013, 07:55 AM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Alaska
Posts: 1,457
Blog Entries: 16
Hard to know where to begin.
I should have posted her last night because I was feeling antsy, yucky, nervous.
Didn't drink and its not as if my AV was piping up like crazy but still feel just antsy.
Could be that we just came back from camping, I knew this would most likely be the week from hell since I will be helping both our office and the other office up in NY out.
Hubby was being extraordinarily lazy which was putting me in a funk.
Next, hubby kind of got into an argument with his parents. They are super upset because we are planning on staying at a hotel when we drive through town. They do not like that at all.
First and most of all they want us to stay with them. Next if we do not stay with them then NOW they want us all to stay in a suite like room with them, so we'll all have seperate bedrooms but it means putting up with their usual stuff for three days, 24/7
Now here are the reasons both options to me mostly are negative. First is why we do not want to stay with them. At all.
  1. They are EXTREMELY filthy. Imagine walking into a house, taking your shoes off and your socks are filthy within 15 minutes. The bedrooms smell like mold, trash over flowing from the trash can onto the floor. Mold growing along the walls in the bathrooms, mouse and cat droppings in corners of rooms, trash all around different rooms, hoarder like conditions.
  2. Last time we stayed with them, we kept almost all our bags and what not OUTSIDE of the house in our vehicle. The one bag I did bring in (toiletries) I had the mistake of opening up later on which sent me on a path that was close to analphylactic shock when I opened it. I developed a very wicked cold from that.

Okay, so those are the two reasons we REALLY do not want to stay with them in their house.
Now, here are the reasons why don't want to stay with them in a hotel where they are in the same "unit" as us.
  1. They get up at 5am and loudly slam items around, yell, get coffee going, wake us all up. Pretty much, they're inconsiderate.
  2. They stay up till 10p, keep the tvs on loudly, yell, and more or less are very inconsiderate again.
  3. My mother in law has a nasty habit of walking into private rooms when the door is closed, (bathroom, bedroom) to ask a question, wake up a sleeping individual, interrupt one on the toilet, in the shower, etc
  4. They tend to "follow" us from room to room, check out what we have and pretty much allow us no personal space or time at all which when dealing with them is a much needed thing.

Now, I've told hubby that currently our excuse is "we have to use up points" and if we do stay with them in this "lodge" in TN in their own town, btw, that will blow up the "use up points" argument and make it very obvious that that was not the case.
As it stands, my husbands brother & sister in law, and Sister and brother in law all know the situation. They barely let their own kids stay there but usually they try to PUSH us to stay with his parents because "it'll hurt his parents feelings"

So, yes I am worried about it. I have been praying about it like crazy.
Funny bit?
Almost the ONLY time hubby and I get into knock out, drag down fights is when his parents do this.
Bit more history. When I was pregnant (5 months) they visited us in Alaska. I cooked & cleaned and went to work each day. I would come home clean all the dirty coffee cups everywhere (FIL has a bad habit of getting a new cup each and every time he wants a cup of coffee, leaves newspapers scattered everywhere, leaves mess everywhere), I would clean up after MIL, cook chicken dinners, Alaskan seafood dinners, fresh bread, desserts, etc etc. My youngest SIL took over my computer so that outlet to sit down and rest was gone too. MIL & FIL would lie down on the couch which would leave no where for me (the pregnant lady to sit)
DH, as usual, was oblivious.
Finally half way through their stay I lost it and started laughing hysterically at SIL for something that really didn't warrant someone laughing like that. They all looked at me like I was nuts. I lit into DH that night yelling I am not f*ckn Cinderella!
I empty coffee cups all day long when I am home, I clean up all day long, even when I want to take a break and sit down I cannot, so I go upstairs to take a nap and MIL comes up, shakes me awake (I really wasn't sleeping, I was just taking a BREAK) to say they are going to a local place for dessert since I did not make them a dessert that night.
We've gone on vacation to Sedona as well with them. Oh my what a headache. First they "invited" my youngest SIL to stay with us in a one bedroom suite. We were sleeping in the bedroom, DS was sleeping in the living room. We found a solution that kind of unnerved them that time. We used our own points and paid for another timeshare for some more of the family. That would allow SIL to stay with her own parents, and all the other adults to each stay at their own timeshare.
Parent in laws were not thrilled. Next they repeatedly insisted they wanted to be there when we checked in, wanted to spend time with us THAT night. It was VERY important to them to see their grandson, IMMEDIATELY. DH had to tell them, "no, we just spent 8 hours on a flight with a 1 1/2 year old, we left Fairbanks at like 6am, we had a two hour drive, we're exhausted. We need a break"
We definitely didn't earn any brownie points for that.
The entire trip there was just bad all over. I was drinking heavily then and while I didn't get plastered there I kept feeling like I could really learn something, that I could really accomoplish something mentally there if my in-laws were just not there blabbing about how this stupid, silly area and its so called energy fields, how these people here who claim that they are spiritual know nothing because their spirituality is not about Christ, that they're all working with Satan here because they're all dealing in crystals, and CAN YOU BELIEVE THEY BUILT A CHURCH NEXT TO ONE OF THOSE "Energy Zones?"
And can you believe they advocate "MEDITATING HERE!?" dealing with the devil I tell you! All the while, following us, non stop, on and on and on. Made me drink even more. LOL
I went through lots of red wine there.
I think I want to go back to Sedona one day because I still feel as if there is something to learn there. There is a sense of some sort of spiritual energy there but, thanks to the alcohol and my in-laws blabbering, I didn't really ever pick it up.

On and on, we've had several stays with them. The ones at our house are usually the worst for me because it means massive amount of work and stress for me. Last visit here, MIL took DS (who was 4 1/2 at the time) in a walk in a THUNDERSTORM all the while ignoring all my advice not to because it's looking stormy out. DH had to rescue them two blocks away with his truck all the while its thundering lightning and raining out. This is a "usual" thing for both MIL & FIL to do to me. Completely disregard my own wishes when it comes to my son. I do not allow him to have soda, almost at all. Last time MIL fed DS Mountain Dew.
AND this upcoming one will have the added bit. I will be sober.
So I know two things will happen here. First, I will NEED to take a step away from them at all costs if I don't want to massively blow up at them.
To maintain my sobriety and sanity.
And when we all go out I will not be drinking with my sil that I get along with.
Historically when we all get together my sil, A, and I get goofy together and laugh at the stupidness that is going on around us all while refilling each others wine glass.
Whether its I use the "I have to run to the gym or where ever!" as long as I get away.
Thank God we are only staying for three days. DH and I have barely to really talk about this simply because I didn't want to blow up. I knew I would do that and I think he knew it so he avoided talking somewhat to me.
Last night he was being cuddly, obviously wanting some "fun" and I was still feeling prickly. I fell asleep fast last night as I was tired too and wanted to kind of sleep on this.
I sent a prayer up to God that he can help me find a way to deal with this.
I'm hoping I see the answer soon.

Well, I have to run. My boss gave me the early lunch hour and I have to heat up my food.

Still here, still sober and just texted my hubby. Told him. I need a drink.
A pina colada without the colada. LOL
munchkin05 is offline