The last thing you need to be worrying about is how you are going to socialize and have fun without drinking. As a substance abuse clinican myself, I can tell you that you need to get in to counseling. And as far as the meeting thing....go out of town. There are a ton of us professionals out there in recovery programs. It takes one to know one. The last thing I worry about when I go to a meeting is my confidentiality. This is my life I'm dealing with. When you get in to counseling you need to figure out a way to find balance in your life. When you work around addicts, it is hard being one yourself. You can only give so much and then you have nothing to give yourself. And your self needs a lot right now.