Hi Legend from NY --
I have ~ 5 months sober & couldn't have done it w/out AA. If you're in the city, I can send you meeting recommendations.
I was very scared in meetings for the first month or two, and still there are some locations that I don't like -- and some I'm comfortable in. With experience & a little sobriety, my perceptions have changed a lot.
My advice on all your fears is that there's NO commitment w/going to AA -- you don't have to say anything, you don't have to sit in the front, you don't have to get a sponsor. Or you can do any/all of those things, or you can go for a year, never do them, and then start doing them at any time if you feel comfortable. I mostly go to beginners' meetings and no one is ever called on.