I know how you feel. I know I need to quit, but I haven't really accepted the fact that I can never drink again. Does that make sense? Maybe I am still in partial denial. But I have tried to have "just one" but it turns into 15 and the next day you're puking and missing your exam and hating yourself because you got naked in front of your friends and pissed on the floor. But you know what? They forgive you. Everyone has to accept you for you. You make mistakes and do things that others may look down on, but screw them! They are not living your life and in the end they don't matter. Don't be embarrassed. Just move forward and remember, whatever you did there are people out there shamelessly doing far worse. Stay strong. Tomorrow is day 2 for me.