I need hope, inspiration and some magic potion at this point. I am slosjed right now and I don't why and what for. I think I want to stop hurting as much as I want to stop drinking. I lost custody of my kids and they are over this weekend on visitation and I can't stop but theink of how much I miss them and I want to obliterate the pain.....I can undersstand now whey some folks turn suicidal....not how I would want to ever go but I empathize now instead of calling them cowards....
what is it with that one/first drink that immediately sets off my guzzle-guzzle obsession? why can't I stop at 1-2-maybe 3 and go on with my life?