Hey kpk -
In my experience, this has to be it. I'm an addict - so early on I viewed life without alcohol with a profound sense of loss - I've often likened it to losing an arm, that's a real analogy. It was very hard getting that part through my head - in the early days I would not even dare to let the "never" word creep into my head. I was ashamed to admit it, but I could not drink responsibly. I am an alcoholic.
I don't go to my fantasy baseball drafts anymore, won't go to fantasy football this year either, probably have to quit the league. I don't stick around long at weddings, I have coffee with desert and leave. I go to cafe's every day instead of bars, which I avoid completely. I don't have alcohol in my home and if it's there I will have it taken away. It sounds crazy, but yes that's life now. It was the only way for me to stay alive.
I hate to say it, but your drinking habits and feelings sound pretty familiar. Like I said, in the beginning it's a real grind. I could not have done it without support, glad you are seeking out advice also.