Hi, Legend.
Sorry you feel so low, I hear you.
41 day clean - that's great achievement, but still early and your body is recovering and emotions are pretty much roller coaster.
I have no family either.
My finances are far from being fine. Oh, well.
But...
I am sober. That means there is hope for me.
Sometimes when I feel absolutely desperate, something good happens. The point is it really happens.
Never give up, never lose hope.
And keep posting. SR is a wonderful place where people's kindness and understanding work wonders.
Take care.
Oh, and you will be able to have fun sober, take it from me)