Relapse isn't necessary nor "alright for lack of better words," but the 1st day can be seen as the best day of your life...you have to start somewhere.
I have started over numerous times and yes I felt terrible sick and beat myself over again. I've learned it isn't necessary, no need for anymore shame or guilt.
You are dealing with an illness and one characteristic of it is repeated relapse.
Just see what you could have done differently and what you were doing that was working.
The most important thing is not to pick up the drink...and there is we need help from other people in recovery....
Keep up the good work...