Hi notfixable - welcome
.I have been pushed away by two people I care about a lot because they are sad and don't want to witness me drink and no apparently that im an alcoholic just from my actions which is bull because me and only me can decide if I am in fact an alcoholic...
sure only you can decide if you're an alcoholic - but if your actions are causing concern to your friends and loved ones, they have a right to respond...
I have had black outs on acation and done some stupid ****...I resently had to miss work because I was to hung over to function...
I think other peoples concern, and stuff like this ^, is more enough reason to stop and consider things...
don't get hung up on the label of 'alcoholic'.
You've already said you know you have a problem - great - then it's time to deal with that problem, yeah?
and knowing you have a problem is great - but I don't think knowing that has any bearing on whether you're an alcoholic or not.
I knew I had a problem for years before I finally quit....and I started my addiction journey when I was younger than you.
D