ams,
Thanks for sharing so much of yourself. You can do this. I'm rooting for you.
I never thought I could go a week w/o drinking and, with the help of this forum, my six month sobriety date is tomorrow.
Please check in here and stay strong. You seem like an amazing and bright woman who could have a wonderful future ahead if you can work through this addiction. Trust me--the journey is difficult but SO worthwhile.
Best to you.