Welcome Winters! I know you'll find the support and encouragement you're looking for. Glad to have you join us.
The things you mentioned are all frightening, aren't they? I did out of character things at the end of my drinking career. It got to the point where every time I took a drink dangerous & unpredictable things happened. I shudder to think of some of the places I went and people I befriended. When I finally stopped it was wonderful to be free of it. It had once been fun, but in the end it was costing me everything. There is life after alcohol. You can do this, Winters.