Originally Posted by hamptons

This was never a social thing for me. It could be - but primarily alcohol has always been a type of medicine to me.

ams0602 - I am 47 and have really ****** up many lives all over the world because of my drinking (usually alone) and lying and sexing and lying and lying..

I stopped lying to myself 8 days ago and stopped drinking the same day.... after going a year or 2 of stopping for a few days, starting for a week, stopping over and over and over and over... going through hell a few days here and there followed by day after day of 2-4 bottles of syrah, chards, champagne, you name it

Day 8 today and I have an awful migraine and am so depressed because my best friend (alcohol) has left me for good....

I've been a drinker since 13............ experimented as early as 9....... gave up for a year in 2003 when I moved to NY and in reality I know I have mental issues that the alcohol MASKED that I have covered up for 35 years...... I was using alcohol to help my sex addiction and was using my intellect/money to manipulate others into doing (what I want them to do for me)....... because I was always smashed or chasing sex... every day for 30+ years.....

Irony is that today I no longer feel like lying, I no longer have a sex addiction (only as of today)... I think the alcohol accentuated all of my other addictions.... I mean my sex drive today is zero, nada, nought.... I couldn't be bothered lying either..... just so tired... all I wanna do is SLEEP

I read all of your story TWICE - you are already THERE with yourself.. you have been honest with us and yourself... now just kill those other things and you will be home..