You are reaching out for help, and that is a REALLY good thing! I don't think you'd be searching for help if you didn't think you have a problem. I'm also in my 30's and have been battling my ?problem? for a long time. I've finally admitted it- it's a problem! A big nasty problem that I can't face alone. It's been a relief - in a way - to just own it and admit it, and reach out for help.
Nobody can tell you you're an alcoholic. Part of the success in staying sober, comes from falling far enough to find that out for yourself. (At least, that's my experience) That's when you really wake up, once you realize it for yourself. It actually makes you stronger, not weaker. Some of us fall farther than others, unfortunately.
Nobody can or should tell you you're an alcoholic. But your original post begs the question "am I?". I can't answer that. (I CERTAINLY am in NO position to assess that "quality" in anyone but myself- what a hypocrite I'd be!) But do you have a problem? Based on your description- it sounds as if you do. IMO (and I'm only 5 days in THIS TIME, so take it for what it's worth) :-)
I hope you find the courage to fight and get all the support you need. Please keep posting! I know we can all relate to where you're at and this place provides LOADS of insight and support. In it together. X