Originally Posted by
anewpage 
I'm not sure yet what I'm going to do if anything. Right now my life is a series of either complete brokenness, or flying sky high happy. There doesn't seem to be a middle ground.
You have the power to take away the brokenness. But it can't be a half-hearted effort. You will eventually need to commit 100% and do this for yourself if you want it to get better.
Keep in mind that generally things won't get any better if you don't do anything about the drinking. The only 2 variables are how bad it will get, and when.