I don't think you realize how much your posting helps us who are still new to sobriety. I need to remember how miserable it is if I go back out and pick up. I appreciate your sharing and hope you come back and stay in touch with the SR group. Thank you, you've helped me. I am only 4 months sober and this is one of the most difficult things I've ever done. It is simple but not easy. Feel free to PM me if you need. You have the majority of your life to turn this thing around. You're way ahead of the game if you chose recovery.