Hi Hibiscus, it sounds like you might need some more support rather than relying just on will power. It can be really hard to let go of addiction but it's worth the struggle.
It might be a different medical system but doesn't your doctor have an obligation to keep your records confidential? I found that telling my doctor was a huge step forward for me. Don't be afraid of what he or she thinks, they will have heard far worse, and they get lied to about drinking so much I'm sure they are grateful for honesty. You won't shock them, but they may be able to offer you lots of help.
Have you considered joining AA. I've never been myself, but it's been fantastic for so many of the people posting here, even those who don't buy into the religious aspect.
Whichever way you go, I hope you get through the bad times and enjoy the wonderful feeling of being sober.