Hi Skoonie, so glad you posted! And it wasn't a ramble at all.
I was still drinking when I came here as well; it took me three months after joining SR to find the courage to put down the booze. But from the very first day I posted, the genuine support I received helped me to find that strength I needed to get sober.
I hear you, it's harder this time. This is a sneaky disease; it gets worse I believe if we start drinking after periods of abstinence.
But you can do it! Tomorrow is a great day for new beginnings. Glad you are here!
Love Venus xx