Hello
Hello everyone...
Not sure where to start here. I have been lurking here for some time. I actually have already gotten a lot of help here by just doing that so thank you.
I have been hesitant to post because this is so freaking long and complicated but I think I need some help. Ill try to condense this as much as possible...
When I was younger...mid 20s I got into quite a bit of trouble with alcohol. I went through DUIs, court ordered in patient treatment, court ordered out patient treatment, etc
I eventually went a full 12 years without drinking a drop
During that time, my wife's sister moved here...and my wife and her sister would like to hit the casinos.
That eventually got to be a problem financially. One night when her and her sis were going to go gambling I threw a fit about it.
She explained that its her only release...and I asked her what release do I get?
She went out and bought me a six pack before she left.
So it got to the point where I would let her gamble as long as I could go with her and drink.
So...fast forward to now...her gambling increased...especially after the death of her mom....My drinking increased...we got in huge fights over money, drinking, whatever...we lost our house...we had to file for bankruptcy....we ended up separating a little over a year ago.
And since then..Ive been a mess. Even though we are separated, I pay for all of her ****...she is no where close to being independent which is one thing she wanted to do when she left. She is living with some guy she met online and she has no freaking bills.
With just lurking on this site, I did manage to put together 13 days sober until today...I'm drinking now so I hope that doesn't offend anyone.
I'm hoping that by posting I can have some accountability and maybe start over again tomorrow.
Sorry..i'm rambling....figured that would happen...but i'm still going to post this