Originally Posted by MissMushroom

I am finding it pretty hard to accept I did those awful things. It's really scary and my friend is upsetting me a lot too as she is really not interested. She knows how out of character that was for me and her silence makes me feel like she is judging me and blaming me.

It's such a massive paradox, really. It was me that did those things but it wasn't at the same time. I was not conscious of it happening: how does one make another person who has never experienced this understand!?

Thanks again for all the kind words