jstanthrgrl - I agree with the others - thinking about your past behavior will accomplish nothing. It'll just hold you down and keep you from reaching out for the life you deserve.
When I drank I didn't even resemble the real me. I wasn't trustworthy or reliable - I started arguments and hurt people's feelings. I'm nothing like that crazy drunk woman. It takes awhile to get that image out of people's heads. Those who care about us should be patient and have faith - but I think sometimes they're afraid to hope we are going to be different. It seems they're always waiting for bad things to happen again - at least that was my experience. I finally stopped apologizing and held my head high - and went forward with my sober life, knowing I was going to make it this time and never be that pitiful girl I once was. Please believe in yourself and don't let anyone make you feel unworthy of a great life. No one realizes how hard we work to get well - 35 days is amazing. You're doing great, and we believe in you.