I feel very foolish. The visit to the doctor was no big deal. I was up front about my drinking and how long I had been sober. My doctor didn't look at all surprised and told me it's something he hears quite often. My BP was MUCH better this time. I don't know why I got so worked up over all of this. It's like I made a simple visit to the doctor into this HUGE issue in my mind. I've got to keep at the meditation practice I guess. The past doesn't exist, nor does the future, only the now.