There were definitely times in the beginning that I was staying sober one minute at a time. Everyone told me it would get easier, but I had a hard time thinking I wouldn't always feel that way. If I hadn't kept plugging through, I wouldn't have seen that they were right. I wouldn't have seen that it does get easier. Keep clawing through this. Something that helped and made sense to me was the theory of an addictive voice. Because I knew I wanted to be sober deep down but I also had this voice and these thought that so desperately wanted a drink. I didn't understand how both could be true or both could be me. So any part that wanted a drink became the AV, addictive voice, and I started recognizing it and shutting it down. Ecuador frankly it was selfish and didn't want was best for me. I'm sure it's explained better than that. Maybe look it up. It's called AVRT. At the very least it will occupy some more time.
