Charlotte 1
your interest in this guy is obvious. You need to trust your gut on this. The advice and opinions of others can very much "muddy the waters", I used to be told to "divorce that jerk" all the time, people who hear one side of the story don't know the other side, or maybe even the third side, "the truth". Your new friend obviously opened up to you, whether you have known him a few weeks (which by the way folks, you can get very very close in this amount of time depending on length of time spent), or months, he may be very very proud of where he is today in recovery versus 3 yrs ago, hence the details. I think it's amazing for a man to open up in such a way and not "hide" stuff, that's the real person you need to watch. As far as your friend....if he was a true buddy, he would have A). Told you exactly what this person had done that was so horrifying...B). Not dis-engaged in your friendship as a condition or ultimatum. As far as referencing his behavior as a potential violent perpetrator is going a little far at this point, it's going to show up eventually, I HARDLY think you are talking of marrying him next week...lol
at any rate-stay open minded and cautious. Past behaviors are indicators of future behaviors, HOWEVER, there is one caveat here...his past behavior was when he had the disease of alcoholism holding him hostage. If he truly is clean now, he is not that person he once was. If any alcoholic in recovery tells you otherwise, it's a façade. I've been following your post, I wish you luck!!!