I know how you feel darling. I have been sitting here after that first sentence staring at the screen for a while now. There is so much I want to say but am having a hard time putting it all into words. I only have a very, very few days clean at this point and so much is going through my mind. I wish I could give you a big hug and tell you everything is going to be o.k. Truth is I could use the same.
I know how hard it was for you to tell your family, it was for me when I told my mama and daddy. I felt just like you did. I did feel a great relief, it felt good to be rid of that burden I'd carried so long on my own but I also felt sadness and guilt. I felt I'd broken their hearts and that nothing would be the same again, I was wrong. I'm sure their hearts were broken but not because of the shame of their son being an addict but rather because their son, their baby boy, was hurting, was sick with a serious problem and desperately needed help. It hurt them that I was hurting and in ways they couldn't truly understand.
The important thing is that you have loving and supportive people to help you through this very difficult time. You can make it. I keep telling myself that too........everyday. Have faith.