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Old 05-14-2013, 09:12 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
buckeyeguy01
Member
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: ohio
Posts: 5
Thanks midnight,
It is a pretty big deal for me to share these things even tho it is anonymously. I am currently unable to take vacation as my terrible habits have left me struggling to pay the bills. I am soon interviewing for a job that I hope will eventually lead to a better position and allow me to quit bartending. I make nearly double tending bar than I will if I receive this new position. I'm basically looking for a way to stay motivated to get sober. Whether it b a bad day or a day in which I have some sort of small victory, I always seem to find justification. My girlfriend also often wants to have wine with dinner. She doesn't seem to understand that even if I only have a glass or two on Sunday night, come Monday I will have the thirst for more. Not that it belongs in this arena, but I also suffer from PTSD after being the victim of a violent crime. I sometimes wonder if my alcoholism is my disease, or merely a symptom of something else, as I never simply crave it out of the blue. Thanks again for reading.
As a side note, any recommendations for ways to shake the constant presence of enablers? I try very hard to look at my job as I would if I were a plumber, carpenter, electrician. Ya know, go to my job and go home. It's just not that easy in the bar environment.
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