You and your husband should read Joel Osteen, Become a better You...especially him. It is a fantastic book, and many many times Joel references not kicking people down, but picking them up. These type of people have some deep rooted issues going on. It actually is sad. I know our situations are the same pretty much, unfortunately, I can't even get my husband to get past a chapter of Co-dependent no more book, so Joel Osteen is out of the question. But you may like it, if you like to read!!