It became important for me to realize, after I kept returning to drinking after quitting, that my drinking was an example of me still wanting to both quit and yet drink all at the same time. Difficult choices were before me during my times of addiction ambivalence. When drinking is somehow in whatever way still an option to ponder and contemplate, a return to drinking is almost a sure thing, is what I eventually came to believe.
When I finally decided, no matter what, I would not drink again for what ever reason, real or imagined either way -- result?! I didn't drink again, and haven't for decades now.
Still, just not drinking was not enough for me, because I also believe myself to be an alcoholic, and so my beliefs concerning alcoholism requires more be done or else I would be totally unhappy and worse while not drinking. As an alcoholic, drinking was my go to solution for my problems -- "drinking" was not actually my "real" problem: living sober and / or dying drunk was more my "real problem" - not the booze - the booze was my useless solution which stopped working long before I actually quit.
Clearly, I required a different solution for my life challenges, and my alcoholism illness. I chose a spiritual sobriety, as discovered within AA program. Now, I'm in a win-win because my practice of the program has created a real opportunity for a new life for me which has my alcoholism illness checked and in remission. Not cured. I don't require any cure. So, with my alcoholism illness now un-empowered, dead to me and my life, I am free of my alcoholism. I am recovered.
This freedom allows for me to seek out what ever other and endless ways to live my life sans-alcohol. My future is always so bright, I gotta wear shades... wait... that was with a different avatar. [inside joke]
Do I seem humble? I am in fact a humble guy, I'm also a very happy and motivated guy too who knows great success with sobriety, and so my gratitude is showing as enthusiasm for not drinking.
You can successfully NOT drink again. There does NOT have to be relapses or returns to drinking. Drinking is never part of recovery/recovered; -- always, returns to drinking is a part of addiction, and nothing but addiction.
Tough choices when initially putting that last drink down, I know.
No one has to suffer while sober. No one. Suffering is always optional, just like drinking is totally able to be an option by choice, and by choice also not an option, is my experience.
You too can make the right choices.
And for the record, I'm not chained, and somehow enslaved to AA meetings or whatever else. I'm not institutionalised. Its as easy for me to do and live program now as is breathing and eating - its really that easy now after more then 30 years.
I rarely attend meetings, I rarely read the BB, and I rarely need to attend to my alcoholism illness. I'm recovered, and my life speaks for itself in that regard. I've been thru good times and bad, poor and rich, divorce and re-marriage, disability and health, and on and on -- no matter what, I happily never drink. And I never will drink either. I stopped white-knuckling 30 years ago.