The past 2 weeks (since I stopped drinking), I have been reflecting back on certain times that my alcoholism was glaring me in the face:
Moment #1: The first time I took a drink in the morning before work
Moment#2: The first time I sat in a bathroom stall at work and drank a nip of brandy
Moment#3: The first time I walked into the liquor store and the brandy was already on the counter because the clerk saw me pull up.
Moment#4 : Seeing my 6 year old set the table for a “tea party”, but instead of tea cups placed wine glasses all around
Moment#5: The first time I quietly vomited in a sand bucket while in bed so my daughter and husband wouldn’t hear me
Shockingly, I still did not quit right after any of these moments. I knew I was an alcoholic, but kept banking on “more time” before I really had to quit.
Well, it didn’t come until my husband finally confronted me about my drinking. He had called Alcoholics Anonymous to get advice on how to bring it up for me. I knew that moment was coming, and to be quite honest…I was kind of relieved. Now the elephant in the room was out, and I was forced to face it.
It hasn’t been easy, and I know things can get much harder, but I am determined. I was no longer happy, and hated looking in the mirror…not only at my physical appearance (I looked like Hell), but also didn’t want to face my inner weakness.
Tomorrow will be 2 weeks for me, and I just want to say thank you to SR for helping me stay focused these last 14 days.
