Bubble, you sound like an amazing person!
Hi bubble,
You sound so insightful and intelligent. IMO, it sounds like you are accepting that your parents are who they are and are not willing to change, so you are working on taking yourself out of that toxic and dysfunctional home... Good for you! Once you are out of that negative environment, and start some kind of program, whether posting on here, attending Al-Anon meetings face to face or via on-line or telephone, you will start to heal.
You will be an amazing teacher and will recognize in your students the pain you have suffered and will be able to be compassionate and understanding.