Welcome to SR Harvestqueen
Originally Posted by
harvestqueen 
I'm concerned about whether I'm fully committed to not drinking permanently, and that I am allowing for the possibility that at some point I can drink occasionally. Like you haven't heard that before. I'm highly achievement oriented but I definitely fall short of being a perfectionist. My mother quit drinking cold turkey decades ago, solo with no support. I'm not going to assume that I can just do that, too. I'm going to continue reading SR and maybe partipate some. I know I need and want to keep busy, too.
I flitted between being fully committed to permanent abstinence and thinking I could drink someday for a long time. I think I am still ambiguous about it in a way. But I used a method to help me quit called AVRT and that deals very effectively with those ambiguous thoughts. It is so simple and obvious in a way but it totally threw me that I had any thoughts about drinking and that if they were there then I
had to act on them. Google the crash course on AVRT if you are interested, and there is a lot of information on it here in the secular connections forum.
I found I needed a lot of support too and there is no shame in that. I am still learning that because I am not the sort of person to ask for help when I need it (pride..) but it really is the sensible thing to do. If you make staying sober your number one priority and do everything you need to to support that then you should be okay x