“Still trying to figure out what the hell is going on” ? Work the steps.
“Sitting with a group of people for an hour listening to rants and drunk-a-logues” is NOT the AA program. It has limited benefit. “It's not working”, IMO because you are one of those who needs to do more than just sit in meetings.
When you finally do the steps you will likely understand that you don’t need to “bow down to some dead guys named Bill and Dr. Bob” or “be defined or kept down by this thing” or “for it to become your life”. There is no need to “be a part of a religion or cult” because AA is neither.
There is no need to “conform to a set of dogmatic ideas and beliefs, giving lip service to an antiquated book” because the book is ANYTHING BUT dogmatic. It’s full of suggestions. If you don’t want to follow the suggestions then then don’t complain that you don’t get it. AA is not requiring you to go to the meetings. Your parents are. They are requiring you to do so because of your past behavior.
I can understand why you are frustrated, but who is responsible for this situation?