Any and all help! Please talk to me!
I am a mess. Please, provide any and all practical and no nonsense advise and direction.
The Scenario
Merged family. 6 years, 5 people, 4 cats, 2 dogs.
Me, the husband, 45, with a 25 yr. old son.
Wife, 44, 23 yr. daughter (addict), 18 yr. old son.
We own a business that our 2 older children also work at.
6 years ago the daughter ran off with a boy, was arrested, admitted to a problem with pot. Came hme, continued to be destructive, verbally abusive, manipulative and getting into one scape after another.
After 3 years we sent her to a one year treatment program, not sanctioned by the province, but our own pocket. She spent 1 year there. Once completed all she wanted to do now was drink as started to do it at home. My wife knew and didn't tell me. My daughter was also smoking in her room in the house. "If you won't respect me, why would I respect you?" That is what she said when I confronted her. She feels we are equal. Part of the agreement of her returning home was that she would also attend AA. She did because it was my stipulation. Problem is she also met a 42 year old who had to attend AA as a bail requirement. As soon as his case was dealt with and he didn't have to go anymore, neither did she.
Next thing I know, my wife has agreed to let him stay over with my daughter in her room right next to mine. Furthermore, walking into my house, his first time into my house, all I heard was pop of the cans of beer as my daughter proceeds to drown down a 26 ounce of vodka in 4 hours. He is a drunk, twice her age almost and a mere 3 years younger than me and she is now riddled with an addiction once again. She is addicted to being addicted in my opinion. everything she gets involved with is over the top. Remember, she also works with us, rather, for us. But, you would think it the other way around. Yes, I have resentment now.
Last weekend I lost it. Everything they do goes against my moral grain. My wife accused me of being a prude. My daughter accuses me of having my head up my sons backside and that I can't see anything wrong with him. We get along. He doesn't have addictions or disrupt the home. Yet, I am supposed to get mad at him for the sake of it at 25??? The is a constant comparison between her and him. When there shouldn't be at all!
I am beyond pissed off. I feel that my manhood has been removed non-surgically and that I am married to my wife and step-daughter. The reason is because if I get into a discussion, or argument, with my wife, my daughter comes down and lights right into me about it too.
Please, talk to me, I will read it all I assure you! I love my wife and all our kids, if I didn't I wouldn't have stayed, but I am fed up and need changes now.