Recently dry AH's resentful attitude, towards ME?
Can anyone explain or offer advice on how to deal with the attitude and constant anger of my AH who recently quit drinking (again.) We've been married 10 years, been together 15 yrs, have 3 young kids under 6. Again, after a few scary blackout situations and irratic behavior, my AH decided to "take a break from drinking for awhile." He says he wants to quit for a year this time. In the past, he tried to quit drinking but it only lasted 2 weeks. This time, the only difference is, he's drinking tons of non-alcoholic beer. He's buying them by the case. Which has been fine, it seems to help. The problem is, he is so angry and bitter, like I took candy away from a child, pouting and shouting and acting pissy over every little thing. It's intolerable, especially around the children. I don't know what is worse or better, being drunk every night or being sober and basically acting the same! I've tried to talking to him about it, but I'm getting the usual response, "Well, you better get f*@#$ used to it, this is the new me, this is what you wanted right?" Even though this time it was his own suggestion to try quitting again. He is blaming me for it, punishing me with verbal and emotional abuse, but not because he is drunk, but because he had to quit. How should I be reacting to his anger outbursts over nothing? It's hard to know whether to keep talking to him about it, which just makes him mad, or try to give him more time and more space. Just like when he's actively drinking, once again, his behavior rules all of our lives, even though he's sober! Any advice would be appreciated. I love him and want to be supportive of his efforts to quit, but he is walking a fine line at this point, I'm nearing the end of my patience. If he stays sober, that's great but I'm afraid he will not be any nicer or reliable as a dry drunk. Do years of alcoholism change a person inside forever, can they ever shake off dry drunk syndrome? I want him to be the way he was before he was bitter and miserable about life. He used to love life. What will it take to get him back to that frame of mind?