Originally Posted by
Kathleen41 
I never heard of a speaking requirement to collect your one year coin; a symbol to the rest of the group that the program works!! You've earned the coin through your continuous sober time.
As far as public speaking, are you referring to be the main speaker at a speaker meeting, or just briefly sharing at an open meeting? Remember you aren't doing a public 5th step, that's not necessary. It's just "what it used to be like, what happened, and what it's like now." You shouldn't feel compelled to share anything you are uncomfortable sharing. Ask God to "put the love in my heart and the words in my mouth." And use you to say something someone else needs to hear!!
At our meetings, people collecting year coins as opposed to monthly ones have to stand in front of the group which is huge as people bring friends and family, and they have to speak. I've already decided that just isn't happening for me. I'm ok with not getting the coin. I will celebrate in my own way.
I already say a few words sometimes at my home group, when I have something to add to it, but I don't find it easy. And it doesn't get any easier the more I do it either.
But it's taking the lead...that's the biggie. That's what I can't do. I know it isn't a 5th step. I know what I want to say. I just can't do it.
And that brings me into conflict with my sponsor and what she feels is right for me to do. She says my fear is self-centred. She says I need to walk through it to get over it. She tells me that the way I feel isn't important, it's what difference it could make to someone listening to me. I know, I know, I know.....but still...
I can't do it.