Hey Mag - I can relate to your posts. I did a lot of drinking alone. I am only a week sober, so I do not have any words of wisdom to offer. I know I am only holding on by tenterhooks, but I am determined. This group is awesome (thanks guys).
As for quitting smoking - that's one area where I finally succeeded. It's been 20 years since I last smoked and it was damn hard to quit. Took me at least 5 tries. I never used any patches or gum, just CT. I started out saying to myself...oh, I'll only smoke when I'm drinking (because they go hand-in-hand). That didn't work. Only have a puff - nope. What I finally realized is that I couldn't even light a cigarette for anyone. I could not be a casual smoker. I just could not have that next one. It was tough, but as time went by it became easier and now I don't even think about it. In fact, smelling smoke or walking through a cloud of smoke makes me ill.
Now...if I can only apply my same thought pattern to quitting drinking. It's got to be the same. The only difference I see, is that drinking is socially acceptable while smoking is not. Most places and homes will not allow smoking, but not the same for drinking - in fact, drinking is part of being social. However, unlike a casual smoker (who still is not allowed to smoke in most places), the casual drinker is most welcome.
I found quitting smoking far easier than quitting drinking.
If I were you, I would not focus on the smoking right now because the drinking is far more dangerous at this time.
Good luck to you, hon...we are rooting for you.
Genie