Thank you all and Happy Mothers Day to all mom's out there. I won't ever give up trying. It's like I can do fine for a week or two, stay on track and then get derailed thinking I can just "check out for a night". Kind of like a reward. I pulled out my RR book and am going to do some reading on that.
This past week I've been so productive. In all aspects of my life. Work, home, gardening, bill paying, getting my "to do" list checked off. I was feeling so good about my acomplishments and I still do. But then I think I need some kind of "reward". I will say that I do not view myself as a full blown alcoholic. I CAN control it in social settings, but I cannot or do not at home. Usually it's at night. After the kids are put to bed early. Wake up in the morning and get back on track. Thank you for listening. I am doing a lot of soul searching right now.
The selfishness that I'm displaying is so out of character of my core. I really struggle with that and the guilt that comes with it..