Hi Awuh1!
The logical side of my brain agrees with and recognizes what you are writing as being correct. I am trapped in a fantasy that my mind has created about what my life is supposed to be like. And since reality is not living up to that, then I am miserable; incapable of enjoying today, this month, this year.
However, most of the time, it is not the logical part of my mind that calls the shots. I don't know what to do about that.
Originally Posted by
awuh1 
You may want to reject this idea but I believe you have set a trap for yourself. Your trap has to do with how you have defined “the good life”. It has to do with where you want to be financially, as well as in your career. Things are not as you imagined they would be. Your expectations have not been met. I get the sense that you feel as if life right now is a struggle and that this struggle is exhausting.
Over the years I have listened to many people in AA say that their financial situations, post alcohol, are worse than when they were drinking, yet they are now much happier. Why? Because they have adopted new values. They have found other ‘things’ more important, more important for them. These other things have become more important to their true selves, a self that is developing without alcohol clouding their vision, and blocking their way.
I don’t know precisely what those new values are going to be for you, but I do sense that you are on verge of discovering them.
Just one more thing. You won’t need to struggle too much to find them. Keep an open mind, and ask yourself what’s really important. The answers will come, and in ways you might not expect.