Sorry...it wasn't clear to me that you were still drinking, DMB.
I tried to help a lot of people during my drinking years - often I made things worse.
I think I would have been better off helping myself first.
I'm not 'having a go' here.
I found my perspectives, my idea of what was common sense, and my capacity to help others was a lot different - vastly so - when I was truly, fully, sober.
D