The "Three C's" is our lifeline:
You didn't Cause it
You can't Control it
You can't Cure it
No matter what you do or did, or don't do or didn't do. It's just beyond you, us.
Yes set up your own participation and adhere to it. He will get used to it, if he tries to guilt you know that it is not real, just a manipulation technique. Emotionally detaching is a big part of your succes in dealing with an alcoholic parent.