Not being mean here but just pointing out a fact. You said:
At this point it seems like I'm stopping more for my husband than myself, cause I just can't seem to get it through my head that alcohol is bad for me and I can't have just one or two drinks...
Until you want to quit for yourself instead of for your husband your chances of getting sober are low. Your motives are sweet but you have to want it for you more than anyone else. If you do that and get sober then he gets the benefits too.
Hang in there javamama. I am 24 days sober and it's hard work. Luckily no one was pressing me to get sober except myself. I was going downhill fast without anyone understanding just how fast it was happening. For me this is all about staying alive and out of a mental institution at this point. Sounds a bit dramatic but it's pretty much where I'm at right now.