I'm becoming a whole new person
I started with an eating disorder in middle school. I continued with the disorder and started taking diet pills in high school to stuff down all my emotions. High school was the beginning of alcohol and drugs for me. I went to outpatient in my early 20s for an eating disorder but didn't completely get well. Drugs and alcohol took over my life until I turned 30. I have never had the chance to learn how to express my feelings about anything. I did drugs and alcohol to mask al my emotions.
What I am getting at is, I have no idea what my personality is. I am like a little kid again. I am learning how to argue the right way, that I have all these opinions and I need to learn how to express them the right way. The emotional side of my brain is ridiculously young in a 30 year old's body.
Has anyone else had these experience? Not drinking is the first battle... the war has just begun in my head.