Hi Sobreia, thanks for posting this---it is very similar to my relationship and thoughts about my own mother. I do not live at home with her but am expected to visit fairly regularly and have been hedging and making excuses not to go because I know I am going to confront someone with the same behavior as you're describing above with your mum. My mother has generally been supportive of my decision to get sober but when she drinks she gets confrontational or plays the martyr and it brings me to a slow boil. I have had a hard time being around people who drink, period, since I have gotten sober but my mother has been particularly trying as she says similar things like, "This isn't forever, right?" and "You really can't take just one drink...EVER?" or "This is a phase, I got past it at your age, so will you."
Her birthday is next month and already the guilt trips about visiting have started so I also need to be brutally honest with her soon although I am loathe to start an argument at the moment. Or incur the inevitable implication that because I have chosen to stop drinking I am passing judgement on her as well.
Oh well, not sure if I have any answers either but I did want to let you know that you are not alone on this one and I appreciate you posting about it. Helped me get a grip on my feelings as well.
Best to you and congrats on your 11 days! Despite mothers and others, it is still a wonderful decision for your own health and sanity. Hugs!