This post (and the amazing replies... especially from Wicked) describes VERY CLOSELY what I am going through with my STBXAH. I am feeling like I am also "relapsing" to some degree b/c I know he is drinking again and swears it is not when he has our 2 kids in his care. I care mostly for their well-being and am so nervous he will make one bad move and put their safety in jeopardy. I know I have no real control over him or his disease... but it consumes my thoughts! (I had been doing so great too... moved out with the boys and really have turned over so many new leaves).
Stay strong... and your post gave me inspiration.
Meg