Originally Posted by Joe Nerv

A lot of the things are too complex to get into right now, I'm at work... But quickly and most importantly I guess is that somewhere around the 10 year mark, sobriety for a period of time started to lose its importance to me. It dropped bigtime on the ol priority list. A few friends of mine decided they wanted to drink again, and were doing so successfully for a while (they wound up back in AA). I was playing a lot of music, dating, succeeding and moving forward in a lot of ways. I drifted away from AA, and started thinking on occasion that it wouldn't be all that big a deal if had some drinks now and then. Still having some connections in the program, I was convinced into getting my butt back into meetings, and I recommitted.

The other more complex stuff has to do with hitting a major sober bottom at around the 20 year mark. I got hit with some life events I wasntl ready to handle, and without AAs support I feel I would have just said screw this. I didn't have a compulsion to drink I believe only because of my involvement with the steps and AA, but this was a period of my life where I didn't care much about anything. While not really suicidal, I'd have welcomed death. I grew through that. I'm happy today.

There are countless other occasions where I believe I would have drank if not for the AA voices in my head, and other investments I have in my sobriety. I've written about many of them in other posts here. A time I was with a beautiful woman holding a drink to my lips where my refusal meant I was going home alone... And I really didn't want to. The time I picked up the wrong drink and after taking a sip could have easily just finished the job. The time I was in Russia and the band I was with was being toasted by some big industry people who absolutely insisted I drink. To not drink was insulting them, so I faked it.

AA gave me tools for situations like that. Gave me tools to function without alcohol as a crutch, or pacifier. I could go on and on and on... I'm grateful for all AA has given me and haven't a single regret for ever declaring myself a member.