Originally Posted by
InNeedOfGrace 
I think shame is a big part of it. I also think that intoxication itself, by warping the senses, turns our attention away from the exterior world and into ourselves. So, if you get too used to being focused inward, you start to lose touch with the world outside yourself, and fall out of practice in knowing how to deal with it.
Thank you for this post. This resonates with me so much. I've been isolating for 6 years since my husband's death. When drinking, I found people to be not very interesting, boring, downright irritating at times, and when I had a social event that I couldn't get out of, I always made sure that I had hit the liquor store first, so that I could "soothe" myself once I got home.
Drinking has closed me off to really listening, paying attention to other people and their lives, stories. I'd get resentful too, that others had what I thought I wanted, so I'd prefer to stay alone at home with my "best friend".
It's very self centred, and selfish. I know I have been very bitter at times.
I live alone, so isolation has become a way of life, but one which I really want to change.
Sometimes I think people, even strangers can tell I'm a drinker, in stores eg, not just the liquor store, and I feel anxious, full of shame and a bit agoraphobic, and that fuels the isolation, so it becomes a vicious circle.
Day 9 for me and I'm working on not isolating, going to yoga classes twice a week, the meditative aspect of yoga helps me stay focused.
Breaking the habit of isolation is not easy, for me at least, it's like I have to relearn how to engage with others. Small steps, like anything else.