Originally Posted by GingerM

Would you be calling the police because you want her to change (which is what it sounds like) or would you be calling the police because you fear for your brother, and you fear for the lives of any other person she might likely harm during her drunk driving escapades?

I told my dad once that if he ever left my house falling down drunk again, I would call the police on him immediately and report him as a drunk driver. (Where I live, if someone is drunk at your house and you let them drive, you are considered an accomplice, even if you are unable to physically restrain them or remove their keys from them) I told him that I'd be hanged if I was going to let his stupidity land me in prison, and I certainly didn't want the guilt of him killing someone else on my conscience for the rest of my life. He absolutely didn't believe me, until I told him that I most certainly would call the police.

There is more than just your mother at stake here. Any innocent person driving along whom she hits. Anyone out on the roads at the same time she is. They are also in danger.

But let's be clear: if you're going to call the police (which I think is not a bad idea), don't do it because you expect her to change. She may be un-drunk while she's in custody, but that doesn't mean she will stay that way. And unless she seeks help for whatever is causing her to drink in the first place, she will start drinking again.

Certainly, being arrested and finding out that her son called the police will only reinforce her notion that the world is against her.

My dad has been in prison for 1.5 years now, coming up on 2 years. He is UNdrunk. He is not sober. The same faulty thought processes, the same behaviors are all still there. The only thing missing is the alcohol fueled vehemence (and the fear of getting in trouble at the prison - if he loses emotional control in prison, he can end up in solitary confinement, and possibly be charged with another crime, pretty much ensuring that he dies in prison).

Do you have any way to take care of your brother when your mum's fiance is at work? Can you take him to your house? I don't know how far away you live.

I would be far more concerned about your brother, who is innocent and also a victim here, than I would be about your mum. Is there an equivalent to Children's Protective Services in your area? That might be another way to have your mum hit bottom, without necessarily having jail time (though it sounds like the jail time is just a matter of statistics right now). Call them for neglect of your brother, not for the drunk driving. Your brother will likely be removed from the home if the fiance chooses to stay with your mum.

Those are some options. Be careful in assuming that any of these things will change your mother though. Only she can change herself. You can do no more than attempt to protect the innocent.

Gin