Hello, sorry dull but what else could I say?
I'm 9 days sober today! I did my detox in an in patient unit as I just couldn't stop. I was hospitalised twice in the last three weeks due to alcoholism and on the second occasion a pilot scheme ( I won't name either the project or the detox unit just in case I get told off! ) intervened and offered me a place on a 10 bed ward for a seven day detox. I grabbed with both hands and was in there within a few hours. It went really well and being in that bubble really helped. I was in with a great group of guys where we could laugh at each other ( I.E, I put a bowl of water out for the zebra in my room somwhere on the first night whilst another guy had us all up on his first night dragging us out of bed screaming that we were in his dads house and we had trashed the place! ) )I came out yesterday and the reality hit me, HARD. I felt ( still do ) paranoid, anxious, nervous, emotional and panic stricken, shell shocked and shaky. The zebra's have mostly gone though just the occasional skittery in my peripheral vision!!! but..... There is no way I'm picking up again. As I said a great group of guys, including two of the most tragic men I think I ever saw through alcoholism. One was my age and would have been dead within a week had this project not intervened, the other a man with 'wet brain'. the guy with wet brain was never going to be allowed to live anywhere other than some form of institution and would only ever be allowed to see the light of day escorted by a nurse. A bit of a long intro but that's where I'm at. HELLO!