Originally Posted by
wanttobehealthy 
Hammer- just wondering because it sounds like your AW is not adding a lot to the family, whether you have thought about taking the kids and leaving.
they are all being impacted, they fear her, there is anger, there are eggshells...
i have kids close to the ages of your younger 2 and they are and have been very impacted by all the things you write about your AW doing and they have not been under the same roof with their dad in over a year...
i just worry about your kids-- i wish that we as the non A parents had enough power to protect the kids from the fall out from the disease and i told myself i protected my kids from most of it but in hindsight, that was me lying to myself.
seeing how peaceful they are and i am and our home is with AH gone it makes it all the more obvious how bad it was with him there...
just wondering if you've given leaving or asking her to leave any consideration?
wow.
Had never thought about it.
Had mused that while she has been so crazy at me since rehab that if it were just us (not kids), we would be better apart. But the kids make that very much not so, so have never really considered it.
She had an absolute nutcase blowout the day after Christmas - standing raging/screaming in the middle of her mom's kitchen I Hate You at me when she "lost" a couple of hundred dollars (it was in her pocket) that I had left for her therapy. She had been trying to duck therapy, so she had been calling everyone -- except me -- telling them I did not leave her money for T. I asked about that and she started raging at me, pretending she could not add up $100 + 300 = $400. Really strange.
I just tried to stay sitting and calmly help her add up numbers. Really goofy. Finally she ran out of the room to call her sponsor to agree that she "was not crazy." Ok. When I figured out she had the money all along, I was glad she had not spent it on drugs or something, since she was just back from rehab for 2 weeks.
That whole thing was in front of the kids, they sat watching the spectacle over the back of the living room couch. The 5 year old came and asked if mom did know that 100 + 300 = 400. The 8 year old came up and asked me to keep the family together. And the 10 year old thanked me for finally standing up to the rages, and said if I had not, she would have run away.
So I took their response as my "Marching Orders." I watch the money, I keep the family together, and I stand up to Mom when she is in Raging ****** persona.