Originally Posted by
Yogagurl 
The thing about your guy is that no one else is going to take him. You become that which you associate with. So, any young and respectable lady isn't going to be abusing drugs. Of course he is living with them. He is an addict and can't provide for himself, so he wil and he is going to take what he can get, living with them for as long as they provide for him. He doesn't care that she is 14 - she is some one to support him who he may be able to use with and she has a mother who is willing to take him in. He isn't looking for a deep emotional connection - if he is actively using, he is looking for dope.
Thanks for this, Yogagurl. It's been a month since I went no contact with my ex-partner and it's been quite a ride in my mind... I feel so much better and I don't ever want that insanity in my life again (although I still have plenty of my own stuff to deal with), but I get hit occasionally with feelings of guilt, remorse and doubt... What you wrote helps me keep things in perspective, whether or not there was love involved, at least on my end. [However, I'm now beginning to touch one of the sharpest thorns that's been waiting for me to deal with: was that really love that I felt? I think I'm ready to drop my head in humility and work on that question...]